Lipstick Jungle

By Barbara Groark

When I was a waitress in a bar at the Shore the summer after college, my cranky old boss prophesied to me one day “You’ll be a Republican by the time you are 55!” I thought that was unlikely, and it did take till I was 57, but I have to say that it was all an accident.

In the spring of 2008, I decided to re-register as an independent so at least I could vote for McCain, whom I like. As a Democrat, I could not decide between Obama and Clinton on the Democratic ticket, though I was leaning toward Obama after having read his two books. But how could I not vote for the first possible woman for the presidential ticket?

However, when I got to the voting booth on New Jersey’s primary day I was told by the ladies of the League of Women Voters that I had to declare a party to vote in a primary. I was annoyed, but after some discussion and clarification of the rules, I signed up as a Republican – I never thought I’d see the day. My grandfather would turn over in his grave. That’s what I get for being indecisive.

And I’m feeling rather strange. I recently visited the township clerk’s office to get a new voter registration form to re-register as an independent again, but I was told that this time I could vote in any direction as I was, that is, Republican, and if I re-registered I’d have to declare a party anyway to vote. I could do nothing and still vote for any party. I haven’t sent the form in yet and may not, but I’m feeling strange.

I actually like listening to speeches for the way the words are put together for a purpose. So I was paying attention to both political conventions in August, and they did not disappoint. Obama and Biden were very pleased with themselves by the end of their week, that is, until the announcement of Sarah Palin as running mate for McCain. And after her big home-run speech the next week, the Democrats were oddly but appropriately quiet.

However, some of their constituents recovered themselves by the next day. My mother, for instance, said, “Why would a woman want to be a pit bull?” And my cousin Bette Ann pointed out, “We’ve already had a rootin’, tootin’, shootin’ guy in there for eight years, and look where it got us. Do we want another one of them?” Neither of them seemed impressed by the sole fact of Palin’s being a woman. I liked Palin’s speech as great entertainment and part of the ‘game’ aspect of politics. Will I voter for her ticket? We’ll see what the weeks bring.

This will at least be a very entertaining as well as historic election season.

And I hope they come up with a few other metaphors besides animals wearing or not wearing lipstick. Pit bulls without? Pigs with? What happened to elephants and donkeys? I believe all four candidates are trying hard to keep straight faces through all this. It’s their constituents and the pundits who are over-serious.

I don’t think we’ll be in trouble as a country with either one of the current candidates. But that’s what I said last time. Decision time is November, and not a moment sooner.